HOW are you getting on with those New Year resolutions?
by Richard Catton (Originally appeared in the York Evening Press during January).
As January drags on and the Christmas decorations go back in the loft, it’s no surprise that those vows to cut down on the wine or chocolate and get some exercise may now seem horribly rash. The first month of the new year should seem like the perfect time for a fresh start, but many rely on willpower when it comes to losing weight or quitting smoking when what is actually needed is a whole new way of thinking.
A fresh mindset is what’s on offer at new sessions starting up this month in York, held by life coach John Child, who says he can help you achieve your goals in 2012 by providing you with the right psychological “tools”’ for success. The concept of life coaching has been around for some time; but who are these “miracle workers” who promise to have us doing everything we have ever wanted to do, whether it’s losing weight or writing our first novel?
“People tend to come to us with a finite number of problems,” said John. “They might want to progress at work or find a new relationship or they may want to stop smoking or get fit.
“Life coaching is a process. The first session might be a fact-finding mission to find underlying causes. Are there life-limiting beliefs getting in the way of your success?”
John makes it clear that a life coach is not an expert on weight loss, marriage problems, quitting smoking, or starting your own business, but what they can do is help identify those destructive beliefs in the darkest corners of your mind which are holding you back. We have all at some point in our lives given in to those beliefs and they all sound very familiar: “I’m not going on a diet – you only end up putting the weight back on,” or perhaps “I’m not asking him out, he’s only going to say no”. Such attitudes ensure we never experience failure by simply never taking on the challenge, but of course they also ensure we never taste success. They keep us in our comfort zones, but as John says: “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.”
Taking failed relationships as a popular example of why people go to him, John said: “Most people, when they look back in life, will have had failed relationships. “That can lead people to think they don’t deserve love or are not good at relationships. So when they meet someone new they are already in the mindset that it won’t work out.“If you have limiting beliefs, your mind can sabotage you without you realising it. Self-sabotage is something that a lot of people will relate to.”
John says that once one of those self-limiting beliefs had been identified and dealt with, people can experience a major turn in their fortunes, but he warned that giving up the values which we have clung on to for years is not easy. “It’s almost like weeding a garden,” he explained. “If you pull a leaf out, the weed will grow five more. But if you pull the root out you might pull out four or five problems and the weed will never grow back.
“Think of a life-limiting belief as that root; that belief might be affecting so many areas of your life. If you work on the affect but not the cause then three or four months down the line you will be back knocking on my door saying ‘I have another problem.”
“My aim is to give people an epiphany. It’s very easy to follow techniques in a session, but people need to have that epiphany. I lead people to their own realisations.
“The one thing that I make clear is that it’s hard work. You may have spent decades with the same beliefs and to get them not to slip back is the final part of the process.
“People have to have that discipline to work through their comfort zone and put in the new habits they need.”
John will be holding sessions at the York Clinic for Integrated Healthcare in Tadcaster Road, York.
The first session is always FREE so you have every reason to find out how coaching can work for you.
Phone the clinic on 01904 709688 or phone John on 07920 292 267.
For more information, visit John’s website at www.superchargeyoursuccess.co.uk